Location: one hour from Suffolk, Rockingham, and Scarborough, United States

I'm one of the co-authors of Point of Hopes, Point of Dreams, and The Armor of Light (which, contrary to some reviews is NOT a Points novel). Proud member of CoastLine SF, Piscataqua Obedience Club, and admin for Horseboard.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Did I mention...

I'm mad as hell about all this new shit I have to go through? I'm also mad as hell that I didn't know about this earlier. They had already done the path on the non-frozen sample (would that be the fresh sample??) by the time I left the hospital, but the resident who cleared me for discharge said it was a meningioma. I could have completed the damn radiation by now. During a time of year when being bald has fewer meteorological ramifications. I always wear a cap, or nearly, so sunburn would not have been an issue. Frostbite, however.

Ah, screw it. Yah, I'm mad as hell, mad enough to lend some serious weight to any and all treatments. "I'm gonna zap that tumor out of my brain, and send it on its way." And I am, you know. You better believe it.

And if anyone knows where I can get one of those hats James Blake wore during his interviews in the studio, let me know, ok?

Friday, September 09, 2005

Thera-putty -- it's fun!

It's green and pliable. It has no discernible scent. It stretches awfully well. And it's called Thera-putty, and I love it. George, the world's best PT, gave me a small container of it today to build up strength and muscles in my left hand, which has been weakened, ostensibly by cubital tunnel, but I also fear by some of those phantom tumors created by the tumors in the CSF. And yet, my last test of the fluids was clear.

The bad thing about Thera-putty is that it reminds me of this awesome fudge Melissa bought me up at Saratoga, down to the shade of green AND the container it's kept in. A ridiculously tempting shade of green! The texture is pretty good, too.

Well, damn it all.

I had a follow-up with Dr. Hartford, my radiation oncologist up at Dartmouth yesterday, and he told me that initial report of a meningioma was incorrect. What they removed was 90% scar tissue, but at the heart of it all was tumor.

Given that, and the presence of tumor cells in the cerebral spinal fluid, he's thinking we need to consider whole brain radiation. Not fun to think about. And he wants to do it ASAP. Which means before Provincetown. WBR, like any radiation, leaves one fatigued. It also leaves one (a) bald and (b) with a burn on the scalp. I have been assured, up hill and down dale, that it is nothing like the burn I got from chest radiation, and I do hope that's true. I don't mind going to P'town with no hair, it's a badge of honor, as far as I'm concerned. But I don't want to go there if I feel the way I did in May of 2004, which was really physically weak and tired. I need to talk to Melissa, and to Robert & Ken, after we talk with a wide range of doctors -- Hartford, Bonnem, Singh, anyone else who might ought to be part of the equation.